like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.

This is the funniest video concept I’ve ever seen. The backhandedness is killing me.

the best part is he had to cut it into parts bc he didn't trust the game to not glitch and eventually he just had to make a rule that if he can't see the glitch happening then it's not a glitch and it doesn't impact the gameplay. then he began to purposefully look away from glitches to try to ignore them.

To elaborate further, at one point he literally had to pull up a cat picture to cover the screen so he wouldn’t see what was happening- meaning he essentially created shrodinger’s glitch on pure technicality

more things that happened in this video:

• he had to start an entire section over because a door glitched through someone's model during the final cutscene
• got kicked out of the daycare at least 6 times to try and avoid an unavoidable glitch
• watched a door close over itself twice
• essentially had to do a deathless run because the loading screen tips were all glitched
• turned off sound effects because moondrop's sound effects began randomly spawning on the map halfway through the run
• turned gregory's model inside out, somehow
• chica's model disappeared mid-jumpscare
• he pulled up that cat video because there was literally no way to avoid the glitch in question
• was flabbergasted by the fact that they actually fixed a glitch in the game
• got stuck in mazercise for over an hour
• monty glided over the railing of the stairs motionless during the bossfight
• freddy started floating multiple times

i agree with british people when they say fooking ell

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)

Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.

Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!

Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks

Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!

Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row

i love being sober and talking to drunk people at parties cause i asked a guy “if you were a wizard what kind of spells would you cast” and i know he wasnt lying when he said “summon creatures”

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

Twitter: the beginning of the end continues

...Mmf.

I've previously been intent on more or less riding my Twitter account into the ground in synch with the fail of the platform, a la Slim Pickens at the end of Dr. Strangelove. This new announcement strikes me as suggesting that the riding-it-out option's going to more difficult than I'd previously thought.

Will have to think a little about how to proceed if this move goes forward. :/

akaashi is so tired

this is peak trans culture because this would have been easier with very nearly any other guitar design but she just haaad to use one shaped like the letter e. Not afraid of a challenge. Respect.

I would like to add that their name is E, literally just the letter E, like they’re in a spy movie. As if that wasn’t cool enough already she went and got a guitar shaped like her name. Fucking icon.

11周年も 高く“飛べ” 🐦‍⬛🏐✨

YOU hate JK Rowling!